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Post by kntryknight1 on Mar 30, 2007 13:45:03 GMT -5
Here's another one for you oldtimer....don't know if it really happened or not as I wasn't there, but you can ask state357.
One night an officer was escorting nurse Flash/Smokey around in the quads of H-dorm. The nurse is extremely slow going up the stairs and the escorting officer was making comical faces at the officer in the station. The escorting officer was following the nurse up the stairs and wasn't paying attention to her, as he was making faces at the other officer. Well, the nurse stopped on the stairs as she was out of breath and the escort officer finaly turned his head. You guessed it, he almost got a facefull of A@@. The escort officer almost busted his A@@ on the stairs trying to back peddle away. The officer in the station almost cracked his head on the floor, when he flipped out of the chair from laughing so hard.
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Post by oldtimer on Mar 30, 2007 20:34:59 GMT -5
had another occasion while working e dorm, which is a small dorm.....67 beds......almost always just one co there......sgts if we have one is somewhere else........
well, i had this sissy......and i mean sissy....at night he would stand by his bed or near it, with his radio and headphones on and dance, more like quivering ( like a seizure standing up)..when he did this i would lmao.....well, one night medical wanted two inmates at 10pm, to do blood work , not have to do it at 5am......well security came to escort them....and said sissy asked in his feminine voice...'WHERE ARE THEY GOING, THIS TIME OF NIGHT"
being me, i never cracked a smile and said,,,,,"THEY ARE GOING TO MEDICAL TO GET GENDER TESTS.......he replied "REALLY, I WONDER IF THEY WILL CALL ME'
this fool believed me.........
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state357
Full Member
"Owner of a Lonely Heart"
Posts: 370
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Post by state357 on Mar 30, 2007 23:44:00 GMT -5
Yeah, I was there and saw it. It was Sgt Peel in the wicker.
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Post by CooL HanD on Apr 8, 2007 9:26:00 GMT -5
Heard a story from a few years back.. I don't know how much it's been embellished, but the mental picture is hilarious! Rather large CO on the horsesquad on his horse. The horse gets spooked and goes nuts and ends up running his head into a light pole. Kills him..(Some say he committed suicide due to his bad back  ) Anyway, the CO's leg is broken and the impact into the pole knocks the power out to the institution. What a day! |
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Post by CooL HanD on Apr 8, 2007 9:27:06 GMT -5
Have two pretty good ones. Once many years ago the call came out for a disturbance on the rec field. Well we circled the staff together and went that way in a cloud of dust. Only to get there and find it was a celebration instead seems there had just been a wedding. Had a TEA assisting with strip searches of transferrs. Observed an inmate with an ace bandage on his knee instructed said TEA to go have inmate remove it. As TEA bent over to inspect inmates where advised to drop boxers. TEA approximately 2 feet away at eye level where johnson should have been TEA jumps back starts stuttering and looking all confused as lead officer said raise your sack if you don't have one thats ok. So now TEA has been nococked instead of newcocked. |
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Post by jarad13 on May 26, 2007 16:29:17 GMT -5
A couple of years ago at ChaCI we had an inmate tell a new TEA that he had a medical emergency. The TEA called the dorm SGT, and the SGT just laughed when he found out what the problem was. The inmate told the TEA that his fallopian tubes had dried up and he needed medical assistance. The TEA took it seriously, and went to medical to get a nurse. From there he was sent to the CR, then the Captain's office, then the psych dorm, then back to medical, where he finally convinced a nurse to return with him. After the inmate admitted that it was a joke, the TEA wanted to write up his SGT and other dorm officers for laughing at him...
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sdt1974
New Member
...able to leap piles of BS in a single bound
Posts: 24
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Post by sdt1974 on Jun 5, 2007 10:30:21 GMT -5
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Everyone knows that not always the brightest people are employed by DOC. We have all seen or heard some stupid stuff from officers. This happen the other night. I came back to my dorm after having a smoke and upon entering the station I am welcomed to the OIC and my officer having a pretty heated argument. Always one for good drama I listened in. Know to give you some info about the officer he has been around some 15 years or more and the OIC about 30. These two or more to say the officer was yelling at the OIC because he had been caught reading a Bible when he entered the dorm. Nothing wrong with the good book mind you, but the da*n fool admitted to the OIC that he had hidden it in his lunch bag. After tring to explain to him (like he should know) that you can not bring non-work related items inside the fence with you he then told us that he would get what he need from a convict and there was nothing we could do about it. i had to leave the building before I choked the dumba--. The OIC came out a few minutes later and said to me as he walked by. "That there is the new King of stupid!"
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Post by oldtimer on Jun 7, 2007 7:29:17 GMT -5
ARAMARK EMPLOYEE DOES IT AGAIN....an aramark female coming in at 4am was searched and low and behold she had an extra pair of panties in her possession, now the problem here is the extra pair was kinda small........this lady put the boo into booty...her's were made by omar the tent maker. now, suppose why she had these panties and what else has or would she bring in?.........anyway she WAS escorted off the compound and her gate pass pulled.......i know panties to some are next to the best thing in the world but this is the going joke on the compund....really enuff said......
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Post by johnnylaw on Jun 7, 2007 11:30:05 GMT -5
sorry so long to get to the rape story............... just got back from my days off. go to my first dorm for count and the officer advises me about a strange acting inmate. that she is becoming nuttier by the day. i tell them to sit up for count and the inmate looks at me and states " i wake the dead and masturbate them " i'm cool about it and tell her whatever, ya gotta have a hobby. and continue counting. a few hours later the officer calls me to the dorm and tells me the inmate was in the shower area asking other inmates what time it was and when they couldn't tell her she would yank their pubic hairs. she then started taking used pads out of the trash, wiping her cooch and throwing them at other inmates. so i glove up and tell her she needs to go to medical and because it's dark i have to cuff her. i get the first one one no problem. the second cuff she starts to try to kick me and bite me with her nasty ass black teeth. i get her on the ground and another sgt. tells her if i let her up she needs to stop resisting. she says ok. i start to let her up and she bites my pants leg. the captain shows up and me and him escort her out the dorm. she decides to stop walking and drags her legs on the ground. we put her down. the captain tells me he will get one side and move this way while i get the other side and move the other way. as we start to get her up he trips which gives her an oppurtunity to get both her legs around one of mine. she starts to hump my freaking leg screaming " i'm ****ing ejaculating on your leg sarge, i'm ****ing ejaculating on your leg !!!!!!!!!!!!! " it went down hill from there. i can truly say i was raped in prison...lol i'll never forget that i burned a brand new pair of bdu's that night after work.  |
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Post by CooL HanD on Jun 7, 2007 13:37:13 GMT -5
LMFAO I remember that night dude... Friggin GROSS!!!
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Post by Tazz on Jun 8, 2007 6:57:23 GMT -5
Thanks for that johnnylaw! That made me laugh so hard!
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