|
Post by CooL HanD on Jan 30, 2008 7:51:58 GMT -5
When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building' by George Bush.
He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.
You could have heard a pin drop .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then there was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?' A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water fro m sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck.. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?'
You could have heard a pin drop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, 'whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.' He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?' Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied 'Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to s peak German.'
You could have heard a pin drop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE...
A group of Americans, retired teachers, recently went to France on a tour. Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically. Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously. "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready." The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France!" The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any damn Frenchmen to show it to."
You could have heard a pin drop
|
|
|
Post by CooL HanD on Jan 31, 2008 8:27:29 GMT -5
Breaking News: In response to the recent terrorist attacks in London,President Jacques Chirac has officially raised the French terror alert from “Run” to “Hide”. There are only two higher alert levels in France, which are: “Surrender” and “Collaborate”.The rise was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France’s white flag factory – effectively crippling their military. Developing…………
|
|
|
Post by CooL HanD on Jan 31, 2008 8:54:53 GMT -5
Official Magazine of the French MIlitary
|
|
|
Post by CooL HanD on Jan 31, 2008 9:15:52 GMT -5
Q. How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. One, because he holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier? A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What's the motto of the US Marine Corps? A: Semper Fi (Always Faithful) Q: What's the motto of the French Army? A: Stop, drop, and run!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Why don't Master Card and Visa work well in France? A. They do not know how to say "CHARGE!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do women who are snipers in the French military use as camouflage? A: Their armpits.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What’s the difference between a Frenchman and a bucket of crap? A: The bucket
The French have only one actual fighting war hero, Joan of Arc, and they turned her over to the enemy!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What English word has no equivalent in the French language? A: Gratitude.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why does the French Navy suck? A: Because cardboard doesn't float!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: what the Frenchmen can do in 5 minutes? A: Surrender twice.
|
|
|
Post by CooL HanD on Jan 31, 2008 9:45:29 GMT -5
You are the President of the United States. Dozens of astronomers have spotted a meteor that is headed towards the earth. They have calculated that it will strike France in three days, at approximately 3:30 a. m. EST. The meteor is large enough to wipe France from the face of the earth. France and the UN have requested that the United States immediately send all available ships and aircraft to evacuate the French population. Hundreds of thousands of French people are gathered on Omaha Beach at Normandy hoping for U. S. ships to appear on the horizon.
The ships and planes you could send are being used to fight the war on terror overseas. As President, you must decide: (1) Do you stay up that night to watch live coverage of the impact, or (2) Do you tape it and watch it the next day?
---------------------------------------------
A French and American general were surveying a battlefield. A bullet strikes the American general, grazing his arm. He shouts "Aide! Bring me my red jacket!" The French general asks "Why did you do that?"
The American general responds "So my men don't see that I'm bleeding, and lose hope."
A second bullet narrowly misses the French general's ear, and he shouts: "Aide! Bring me my brown trousers!"
---------------------------------------------
A Frenchman, an American, and a Brit were all busy getting drunk in Saudi Arabia when the cops burst in. They were soon sentenced to death, but through good lawyers, the three men were able to reduce their sentence to life. As luck would have it, it was a Saudi holiday, so the judge said, "Because it's a holiday you will each recieve 20 lashes and be let go. It is customary to grant one wish before punishment. The Brit thinks and says, "Strap a pillow on my back." They do, but it only holds for 10 lashes.
The Frenchman sees this, and requests two pillows on his back. These only hold for 15 lashes.
The judge turns to the American and says "Because you are from such a respectable country, you get 2 wishes."
The American replies, "I wish to be flogged 100 times, not 20." The judge thinks this is very honerable and asks "And your second?"
The American answers "Strap the Frenchman to my back."
--------------------------------------------
Q: How are French babies born? A: With their hands up (surrendering).
-------------------------------------------
Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, " says the genie.
The American says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in America." With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was forever made fertile for farming.
The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so that no one can come into our precious country." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around France.
The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."
The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water." --------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
Post by CooL HanD on Feb 13, 2008 8:09:12 GMT -5
Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN ) for 6am. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA ) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG ). He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA ), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE ) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA ).
After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA), he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO ) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN ) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA ) he got in his car (MADE IN JAPAN), filled it with gas (from SAUDI ARABIA) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.
At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his computer (MADE IN MALAYSIA), Joe decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL ) poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE ) and turned on his TV (MADE IN JAPAN ), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in AMERICA .
|
|
|
Post by brucifer on Feb 13, 2008 9:02:53 GMT -5
Cool Hand,
But you have to admit, most of the companies are American outsourcing to cheaper labor, materials, rules EPA etc and even taxes.
Even People First did/does it. I believe the American consumers are at fault. heck I bought an item the other it was made in USA and it cost double than the one made in China. I do no think it was any better quality since it was just a piece of metal (flange). How many of us shop at Wally World? Just a thought. Ya can hardly buy anything made in America and I always do if possible, but its the American Company.
|
|
|
Post by CooL HanD on Feb 14, 2008 8:48:44 GMT -5
Agreed dude, if Americans took care of their own first and weren't so eager to jump into foreign bullshit, we'd probably be able to purchase things at lower costs. But I blame the majority of this on our government, we're slipping back into a ressession coma, fuel prices are outrageous and it's effecting a lot of other things, we're involved in things we shouldn't be, we're allowing aliens to purchase America.
I really don't care who's running this country, as long as they have the American people and our land as top priority.
Nobody is holding a gun to our heads when we pull up to a fuel pump. We're allowing "Big Oil" to rape America with every gallon we purchase.
Why don't American products have the same quality as imported products? My opinion, the pride of American work has been bled out of the American worker and he/she has been taxed to death. Our forefathers left England because they were tired of being squished by the crown and made a home here and called it America. Where do we who are tired of being squished by our government go?
Answer: We don't go anywhere. We put people in office that will take care of AMERICA FIRST!!
|
|
|
Post by CooL HanD on Feb 29, 2008 7:53:20 GMT -5
WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH? 'My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.
Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short . The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.
The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money t onward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home . On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.
Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .
I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bonne chance, mez amies.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York
A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.
Mexico is also on List 2 its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.
We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin.'
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.
God bless America . Thank you and good night. '
If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.
|
|
|
Post by CooL HanD on Feb 29, 2008 8:11:39 GMT -5
Right on, Andy Rooney !
Andy Rooney said on "60 Minutes" a few weeks back:
I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers.. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens...Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.
Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.
I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, which is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE ?
I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.
I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.
When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling; it is the Law of Probability.
I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!
My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.
I think the police should have every right to shoot you if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.
I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.
We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.
I don't hate the rich; I don't pity the poor
I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.
I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building.
It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say "NO!"
I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!
I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa ; so how can they be "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere else
And if you don't like my point of view, tough...
I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA , AND TO THE REPUBLIC, FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL!
I was asked to send this on if I agree or delete if I don't. It is said that 86% of Americans believe in God. Therefore I have a very hard time understanding why there is such a problem in having "In God We Trust" on our money and having "God" in the Pledge of Allegiance. Why don't we just tell the 14% to BE QUIET!!!
|
|
|
Post by karlieh74 on Feb 29, 2008 9:00:05 GMT -5
Something else that is out there that people support without having an understanding of the full ramifications: For those of you who think socialized medicine is the answer - You should watch this! If you know someone who is for socialized medicine - you should watch this and forward it to them! Socialized medicine is NOT the answer to health insurance in the US.. never-mind the high income tax that pays for this "free" medical care! www.freemarketcure.com/brainsurgery.php
|
|
|
Post by CooL HanD on Mar 1, 2008 11:33:52 GMT -5
The Pledge of Allegiance" - by Senator John McCain As you may know, I spent five and one half years as a prisoner of war during the Vietnam War. In the early years of our imprisonment, the NVA kept us in solitary confinement - two or three to a cell. In 1971 the NVA moved us from these conditions of isolation into large rooms with as many as 30 to 40 men to a room. This was, as you can imagine, a wonderful change and was a direct result of the efforts of millions of Americans on behalf of a few hundred POWs 10,000 miles from home. One of the men who moved into my room was a young man named Mike Christian. Mike came from a small town near Selma , Alabama He didn't wear a pair of shoes until he was 13 years old. At 17, he enlisted in the US Navy. He later earned a commission by going to Officer Training School Then he became a Naval Flight Officer and was shot down and captured in 1967. Mike had a keen and deep appreciation of the opportunities; this country and our military provide for people who want to work and want to succeed. As part of the change in treatment, the Vietnamese allowed some prisoners to receive packages from home. In some of these packages were handkerchiefs, scarves and other items of clothing. Mike got himself a bamboo needle. Over a period of a couple of months, he created an American flag sewed on the inside of his shirt. Every afternoon, before we had a bowl of soup, we would hang Mike's shirt on the wall of the cell and say the Pledge of Allegiance. I know the Pledge of Allegiance may not seem the most important part of our day now, but I can assure you that in that stark cell it was indeed the most important and meaningful event. One day the Vietnamese searched our cell, as they did periodically, and discovered Mike's shirt with the flag sewn inside, and removed it. That evening they returned, opened the door of the cell, and for the benefit of all of us, beat Mike Christian severely for the next couple of hours, then they opened the door of the cell and threw him in. We cleaned him up as well as we could. The cell in which we lived had a concrete slab in the middle on which we slept, four naked light bulbs hung in each corner of the room. As I said, we tried to clean up Mike as well as we could. After the excitement died down, I looked in the corner of the room, and sitting there beneath that dim light bulb with a piece of red cloth, another shirt and his bamboo needle, was my friend, Mike Christian. He was sitting there with his eyes almost shut from the beating he had received, making another American flag. He was not making the flag because it made Mike Christian feel better. He was making that flag because he knew how important it was to us to be able to Pledge our allegiance to our flag and country. So the next time you say the Pledge of Allegiance, you must never forget the sacrifice and courage that thousands of Americans have made to build our nation and promote freedom around the world. You must remember our duty, our honor, and our country "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."
|
|
|
Post by CooL HanD on Mar 1, 2008 11:42:19 GMT -5
Great post karlieh74, Karma for diggin that one up!!
|
|
|
Post by Mr Hat on Mar 4, 2008 9:04:13 GMT -5
WHAT THE HECK ARE THOSE CANADIANS THINKING? Hope they don't need emergency surgery. They might be stuck waiting 8 months too.
|
|
|
Post by karlieh74 on Mar 5, 2008 20:05:09 GMT -5
People in England and Canada (both under the British crown) die before they can receive surgery. And many times before they even know they have a terminal condition. Because had they received a biopsy in a timely manner they could have received surgery in a timely manner and it would not have been terminal! If you ever get a chance watch the House of Commons on PBS (it is the UK's version of the House of Representatives and its sessions are aired on television) - it is typically on late night TV... I watch it one night and was just apalled. the senators (I don't know what they are actually called but the term works) were talking about women in their provinces DIEING of breast cancer before they could get biopsies done following their abnormal mamograms. That is socialized medicine kids! Insurance is available to most people - hell, even McDonalds offers health insurance to it's employees!!
|
|